But great grand schemes will give you grief.
Take what you need, that’s all.
A light craft takes the wind
and skims the water lightly.
Last Verse From Writing What I’ve Seen by Yuan Mei (1716-1798)
Many of you have known me for years and some of you are more recent acquaintances. Let me say that I appreciate and love you all, for as much as I like being alone, I also love the company of friends and family. This is a wonderful mix of society given to me by my father and late mother. Dad loves to be around people and knows no stranger, while my mother could be in a crowd but much rather preferred an intimate gathering with close friends and family, or simply being alone. I am a mix of both, but in the end though, aren’t we really a product of both our parents, like it or not?
I gained a love of nature early in life. Whether barefoot on a summer day, going into the country with my grandfather, catching frogs, fishing, Boy Scout campouts, summer road trips with my family heading into our country to points north, south, east and west, backpacking trips into the wilderness with dad, and through it all gaining a love of nature and embracing it in all its facets. That love remains as much a part of my soul as my dearest friends.
Boyhood too soon became manhood and with it the challenges it posed as I tried to build career and family. As I look back on this transition, I regret that I didn’t follow my passion for nature but allowed myself to be sucked into the American expectation of success and money (note to young people, it’s gut check time). I have many things I am thankful for (four children and a WONDERFUL wife) but the thing that eluded me was more intellectual and spiritual, not the material. I had all the latter, a good home, a six-figure salary; I bought shit when I needed it, albeit not a bigger home, a second home, a fancy car, or a Gucci wallet. I plowed my way up the food chain, and watched those around me unable to meet the ever demanding expectations of corporate life fall away like chaff. I began to see the hypocrisy of this existence and I always asked myself if there wasn’t something better. For me, it all came crashing down not yet a year ago but I crawled out from the destruction and I have never been happier.
So here I am now, writing my heart out about nature, spending some fantastic time with my girls, Katie and Sarah, taking them to school and being with them at the end of the day along with cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping; I love you Mom, you set the example. My adult sons have a new level of respect as I have eschewed the mindless pursuit of money and status. I would have never imagined that I would be in this place just one year ago, but here I am and know this; I would never go back. This Old Boy is happy where he is.
While the man is demanding more from those around me, I may be taking a weekday hike in the woods. While others fight through airports to their next rendezvous and drink in some lonely airport bar, I may be cracking open a beer and sitting in my Adirondack chair in my backyard, staring up at the blue sky, and listening to Dylan or the Dead. I am not envious of those hungry for the next dollar. I can only imagine what their lives would be like if they took a step back and asked the question, am I happy where I am, if is this the end of the line, has it all been worth the getting? It is worth asking this of ourselves for it is a question we all have to be ready to answer.
